Stay classy, Joey Porter

Professional loudmouth, and sometimes linebacker, Joey Porter, who is now an Arizona Cardinal, was arrested in California on suspicion of drunk driving. Even better, he assaulted the officer and is accused of resisting arrest.

Plus he can't back up his trash talk. He should get a few months for that too.

Now let us all wait for the Wrath of Goodell to descend like...well...like the Wrath of the Current NFL Commissioner.

Shows I really don't need to watch

Apparently, there is going to be a reality show on HBO that shows the Jets' training camp.

Ugh.

And apparently, this is why Rex Ryan got weight-loss surgery.

Double ugh. And I'll bet he's still nasty.

Chris Chelios comes out of retirement

Perhaps we should dub Chris Chelios the Junior Seau of the NHL. Except that Chelios is 48 years old. Think about that for a minute. An NHL defenseman who is 48 years old. That is insane.

Anyway, Chelios is now playing for the Thrashers and hopes to help them in their quest for the Stanley Cup and all of that jazz. However, I still think he's nuts.

48. Years. Old.

I remember this guy from when I watched the Montreal Canadiens as a kid. Almost everyone else that I remember from these days is now a coach/GM/other type of office job position. Pretty sure he is the only active player.

In talking to the press, Chelios made the following statement: '"In hockey every game is a playoff game," he said. "It's a tight race."

No.

There are 80 games or something, dude. Not every game is a playoff game. I could see putting that argument forward for maybe the NFL, since there are only 16 games. But when you are playing 80 games, they are not equally important.

Oh, and here's a fascinating statistic: of the 26 seasons that Chelios has played, his team has made the playoffs 24 times. Pretty amazing.

QB moves by Cleveland Browns: Really?

The past few days have been very exciting, Cleveland-Browns-wise. By which I mean, as usual, that Mangini has boggled my mind:

1) They cut one of their QBs, Derek Anderson.

2) They got Seneca Wallace from the Seattle Seahawks (I'm not blaming Mangini on this one since Wallace must have been Holmgren's idea. But still).

3) They acquire Jake Delhomme days after he was cut by the Carolina Panthers for sucking big-time last season.

4) They traded remaining QB Brady Quinn to the Broncos.

So their starting QB is now either the back-up for Matt Hasselbeck or Jake Delhomme, who was really not very good last year (to quote one Yahoo commentator, he was the 'worst QB not named Jamarcus Russell').

This is almost as good as when Mangini acquired Brett Favre, but not quite. Because at least you might deceive yourself into thinking Favre could be good. These guys? I am confused.

Last year's QB ratings:

Anderson: 42.1
Quinn: 62.7
Wallace: 81.9
Delhomme: 59.4

League average: 83.4

Not like they were all that phenomenal as QBs, but I mean, you've got four guys here under the QB average and you purposefully went out of your way to acquire two of them. Hence my confusion.

Nomah!!!

Nomar Garciaparra has retired. But, in what has to be the cutest gesture ever, the Red Sox signed him for one day, then he retired. So Nomar retired as a Red Sox. This is only fitting since he has one of the best Boston accent names to wear the uniform.

Awwwwww.

Yay, this makes me happy. Good luck with your future ESPN-type career.

Incidentally, this was today's Red Sox Insider email:

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RED SOX INSIDER -- March 10, 2010
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:: THE VOICE OF THE NATION:
:: Nomah retires, Cheesy Fries and Chuck Norris